Heeere kitty, kitty

I'm back on my model girlfriend's (parents') couch with a speeding ticket, two parking tickets, and my tail between my legs.
My co-pilot and I pulled up to the local George Webb's and felt like the two 30 yr olds at the table behind us were way too comfortable and needed our company. Some dork then felt the need to start doing the robot at the table and I, ERRR he knocked a fairly full chocolate malt into his lap. After proving ourselves to be the men of their dreams, we were one Tim McGraw song ("OMG this was my wedding song"...trick) from nailing two married women with 3 kids between them in our La Quinta (yeah girl) suite.

Some other highlights...
- Finding out I haven't severed all ties with the spanish, after all.
- Getting turned down by a tranny-lookin-ass and a moby-dick-lookin-ass
- Being absent minded enough to tell a good looking blonde 'nah, I think I'm just going to head home now instead of getting a ride home from you later'

Holland Oates?

I'm pretty sure these two fool around with each other... I'm also pretty sure their videos are absolute gold for unintentional comedy.

You don't watch The City?!

Whit Port is a serious piece. Not only is she a beautiful leggy blonde, but she's smart and funny and so full of excitement all the time.

This week Caterina "talked it out" with Allie about kissing her boyfriend on last week's episode. "I just know ALL THESE RUMORS ARE FLYING about me and Adam..." The rumors are almost unbearable, as all 4 cast members who even care try to decide who to believe. I know what she's going through, I guess, because all these rumors have been flying about me finishing the milk and leaving the carton on the counter instead of recycling it. See, it's all just he-said-she-said.

Who's Drivin' Who?

Suck it Durden

Just watched How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days 2, ERRRR, My Best Friends Girl but the paralells are striking...Hudson as the lead gal, a douchebag dude as the lead guy (Matteo McConaghey/Dane Cook...ughhk), same general plot. I'm surprised I watched this movie - between Dane Cook's nonsense and the advertisements for, ERRRR, blog posts about the movie by wwtdd.com, it was on a short leash. But just like How To Lose A Guy, it's amazingly watchable. Grab your snuggie and popcorn.

And look, I love K. Hudson just as much as the next Seth, ERRRR, guy out there, but she was looking iffy at times. I hear there's this disease or something called age that really ruins girls after they hit 19, ERRRR, 30, and she's knocking on that door...hard.

The Good Book

Shameless promotion of facebook...

Me: "sooo i just watched my leader in the clubhouse for 09 for top male full frontal movie of the year...Donkey Punch. It's not good in a cinematic sense, but in a wow its called donkey punch adn the plot revolves around said donkey punch and it's not the worst thing ive ever watched kind of sense. scope it out."

Roomate: "I'm just glad 2009 has got a leader not even a full month in. Is the top of the Male Full Frontal Pantheon still inhabited by 'the end of Boogie Nights' and 'Kevin Bacon's dick in Wild Things'?
...You and I have had some pretty outstanding Text/Good Book back and forths so far this year. If we keep up the feverish pace I believe it's safe to declare us the Magic/Bird of the Digital Age. I think naturally you're Magic - if only because I am fairly confident you will contract the HIV before I retire from Facebook."

Daddy's Girls? UGHHHHHK

It's great to see that in such a turbulent time for the american economy, Reverend Run has the extra coin to pay off MTV to actually air his daughters show "Daddy's Girls". Outrageous.

OK what I'm mad about is that it was advertised in the corner of the screen all day alongside The City, like we're supposed to believe they are on the same level as headlining shows. Please.

Was that Pipe?!

Imagine my joy when I come across a trailer for a movie titled "Donkey Punch"...on a legitimate film industry website no less (imdb.com). Instant download. (imdb page http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0988849/ )




Short story long, 3 young gals meet 3 goober euro guys somewhere on the mediterranean and go to their yacht. They take ex and smoke something and guy starts talking about a move his buddy told him called a donkey punch. Guy bangs girl on the couch while their friends go at it on the bed - with another guy filming - then guy #2 tags in the filmer and he starts nailin her from behind then actually donkey punches her and kills her! Then they all kill each other to cover everything up and the cutest girl gets away.

When that slut got what she deserved, ERRRRRRR, was laid out motionless, I couldn't help but think of Senor Houdini himself. I'm now reconsidering all outrageous sex moves being purely theoretical. There's gotta be people out there actually doing all those things... Pipe, can you shed some light on this?