Tisdale getting sexier?

“It’s edgy. It’s an album to rock out to. It’s definitely sexier. I have a sexy side to me, but it’s more of a fun sexy. Sure, I’m a nice girl, but there’s also a part of me that wants to be rebellious.”

...That's Tisdale's description of her soon to be released album, Guilty Pleasure. I sure hope that's the case because her previous album, Headstrong, not only has pitiful album artwork, but the music is the same "ugh get these paparazzi away! Ugh, now that I'm in front of the camera and bright lights, life's sooo haard!" B.S. that I would expect from a talentless skeleton like Lindsay Lohan.

Tis is also going to be on the cover of Cosmo. Not that I've ever read the magazine, but I hear it's a really popular one and that it says alot about your current stardom if you can land the cover. If we start spelling Cosmo, P-L-A-Y-B-O-Y, then I'll be excited. Plus she has her dark hair for it anyway.

Also, word on the street is she DID in fact dye her hair...to something described as "honey." That's like when you're 22 years old, ERRR 9 years old, and you mom tells you to clean up your room, so you kick all the clothes to the corners and under the bed so that you can see the floor. I'm all for brunettes as long as they're tan. So tan your skin, or bring back the platinum blonde - don't "tan" your hair.

UPDATE: K, that was a really old picture, but I like my analogy so the paragraph stays - false info or not.

looks ghostly on this cover, but better on the red carpet...

UPDATE: Forget "better on the red carpet", she looks fantastic. Keep the hair flat and skin tan and we're golden, Tis.

MJ's new borricua

Michael Jordan lost toooonnnnnns of dinero to his wife in their divorce ($168 million to be exact, the largest celebrity divorce settlement in history), and the new lady is paying for it, I guess. Michael and new cuban girlfriend, Yvette Prieto, bought a measley 5,500 square foot villa in Miami together. Prieto filed for chapter 7 bankruptcy in '02, so don't fault him for being a little gunshy to share his assets this time around. Cubans are freaky little girls. All that communism and wierd shit going on in their native land, when they defect to America they are like a rodeo bull getting released from it's cage. Just don't knock her up and have to owe her money too, Mike. Actually, there are rumors that they're getting married soon, but I don't believe any of the things I read on the internet.

Aaaaand that's the way the cookie crumbles...

A non-timestamped running diary of tonights Bad Girls Club...
This epi is called "The Cookie Crumbles"...hil. Amber M. (nickname is Cookie, but you know that...or else you're gay) got her ass wooped. By her 3 roomates. Tiff, Boston and Ailea all grabbed her hair and hit her and kicked her in the face while she was down. Craaaazy shit. Sign of a dream vacation - you're on a free trip to Cancun, no doubt getting your drinks and everything else comped, and you get in a brawl...with the people you came with.

Boston is going off about how 'you don't eva hit someone with ya shoe. In Bah-stin we hit with oua fists. You don't hit with a shoe.' while they show a montage of her hitting with a shoe and talking about hitting with shoes or shoving them up someone's ass on earlier episodes. Classy. While she brings nothing to the table in terms of looks, and causes me headaches when she talks, she still brings it in the unintentional comedy arena.

The (Fake) Five are sitting around their suite feeling victorious. Ailea shouts "hey but if anyone ever gets in my girls' faces, you better believe I'm right there next to them!!" Wow, I wasn't aware anyone over the age of 19 still said that.

Damn, Amber M. looks hiddeous. The next morning after being nearly blacked out drunk, dancing (sweating) up storm, and getting her ass whipped, I'm not proud to have woken up next to her. She's a mess.

The police show up at their hotel to question them. Throw them in Mexican jail! Not surprisingly, Ailea lies to them "Oooh, I'm not sure what all happened, they both grabbed each other and then when they let go everyone was spread all over and I have no clue what happened." Shut up.

Yes, they're questioning Boston, she's going to jail!! "Maaan, jail is definately not like this in Bah-stin." You piece of shit, now make my license plates! They do that in jail right? Well, not in Fort Myers.

OK, now she's not going to jail...but she can talk all she wants about Bah-stin now, because she's going back there.

Ugh. Ailea is crying and looks especially disgusting. She says "I don't have many friends, and now that I have a friend, she's going home (sob)." God, shut up. Not the sharpest tool either, she just admitted to also kicking Cookie. Cookie wants her gone. Might happen. GASP! STAY TUNED!

Tiff's actually an interesting character. She's tough as hell, could tell me she plays Arena Football and I'd believe her, beats girls up at the clubs...but is the only one not being a total c-word towards Amber M. When Ailea and the other ones start going nuts behind Amber's back, she's there to put them in their place.

HA - They showed the Ambers taking a shot, and Amber B. plugged her nose when she took it. They were panning away from her to show a close up of Amber M., but you could still see it if you have eagle eye vision like me. I've seen 8 year olds plug their nose during swimming lessons, but never a girl at a bar.

HA - Sarah: "Is it bad I just did Noah(her dude in LA)'s high five after I (bleep)ed a Mexican?"
Ashley: "Who cares you used a condom, it doesn't count."
...Move Ashley up a rung on my ladder!

Tight..."Next week on- THE AMBER SHOW!" The Ambers host the show to show some of the footage we didn't get to see from other episodes, and it looks like hit the town with a camera and microphone. Can't wait.

Weekly BGC power rankings...
1. Amber M. - takes a licking. Gives one too? Where's my phone...
2. Tiff - Solid showing this week bumps her waay up to the 2 spot. Showed some balls, if that's a good thing.
3. Amber B. - no purse "disasters" this week. Stayed out of the fray, and continued looking good doing it.
4. Ashley - Killer condom comment. I hope your parents were watching.
5. Boston - You brought me a few laughs. If I don't see you again...keep on...keep trucking.
6. Sarah - Gets the nod over Ailea because, well, Satan would get the nod over Ailea.
7. Ailea - You've come a long way from the first episode...when I said "wow that kiwi girl is fairly cute."

wtf Doug. More importantly WTF TISDALE!

If you don't know who Doug Reinhardt is, you're not alone. He's on The Hills. I watch the damn show and don't know him. Anyway, how'd you like your last three girlfriends to be Lauren Conrad, Amanda Bynes, and Paris Hilton? Tough gig. However, if you have the kind of game to get Amanda Bynes, wtf are you doing with Paris Hilton? She looks like an eagle. There's few ways to trade up from Amanda - Casey Carlson, Ashley Tisdale*, Aly or AJ, and Jessica Alba. That's pretty much the list.

*Dye your hair back or we are not on speaking terms.

How 'bout them Cowboys?

There's no real difference between The Bachelor and Flavor of Love (etc.), except the women have a high school diploma and might make you spend money on them before they sleep with you. I've never seen an episode of The Bachelor, and I have no idea why. The girls are all 10's. If you think "well on Flavor of Love, all the girls just have sex with the guy the whole time anyway, unlike The Bachelor" you're dead wrong. Guaranteed. ABC just happened to stumble on some data that says that stuff doesn't appeal to 18-49 year old women. There's so much in it for the girls the later they hang on that why on earth wouldn't you? Nobody really likes the guy, they're just looking for their break... Melissa, the hot former Cowboys cheerleader who got the final rose, then got dumped on the reuinion show, is parlaying her pity party into a run on Dancing With The Stars to fill in for Access Hollywood host Nancy O'Dell. I may tune in. Probably not. She's a dime, though.

Random 24 thoughts...

Shameless cross-promotion, yes, but a few things about 24...

Watching the earlier seasons after watching a few of these later ones was wierd. Jack Bauer has the skills and abilities of a mere mortal in those early seasons. Now if a 50 foot concrete reinforced steel wall were in Jack's way, he'd use his go go gadget suction cups to climb it, or flap his wings to fly over it. It's ridiculous at times.

"Madam President, woof"...yes, but Madamoiselle Taylor, yow! Hot for an (must be) Ivy league grad. They should have had some of the bullets shoot off parts of her clothes so that her tits and legs were hanging out. Sex sells.

I don't think HD was intended to show you acne scratches from puberty, or the pores on someone's nose and cheeks so vividly. Bauer looks like he's been to hell and back. Oh yeah, he pretty much has.

Agent Moss, aka the coach from Mighty Ducks 3 (the Mark Taylor of the trilogy), is suuuuch a pussy. The show goes out of their way to show the people who follow protocols as pricks, but it's incredible how unlikeable they've made him.

Red Foreman must have gotten sick of being in and out of a job in Point Place and ran for Senate. He's a real douche now, though. He went from being one of the best characters on That 70's Show to being one of the 2 most unlikeable characters on 24. I bet he's down with the terrorists, I have a feeling.

Breaking News, Varsity Blues star Jon Voigt is rumored to be part of today's attack on the White House. Also, the warden (or whatever, I don't even like Shawshank) is moving his way up the ladder and has assumed a role in the President's cabinet. Why not just hire George Costanza and Cosmo Kramer.