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I decided that girls can be scored based on your behavior pre and post climax...
Pull out early then handy to finish - she's pro-life and not a looker.
The Just-in-time Pull Out - default
The woops! 1/4 in, 3/4 out pull out - if it happens, it benefits me
and The sucks-to-be-you,-nerd non-pull out - vacations, other states after you've used a fake name, hometown and back story
Marko Jaric of the Timberwolves...Knocked up Adriana Lima, well done sir.
LeBron James...Knocked up his high school gf. Woops, you're the biggest star in pro sports but no models for you. (yeah right, fidelity is blacked out in the Webster's Official Pro Athletes' Dictionary)
This is a huge stretch and makes no sense, but when you're a zombie at the wheel for 5 hours, you come up with some genius shit. Putting a good spin on Marko Jaric doing anything exerts too much energy. Adriana's probably kicking herself... that or at some underground science lab making sure this baby gets her gorgeous genes not his douchy ones.
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Adam Lambert has some fresh, great new ideas for his debut album.
The musical mix will include...more emotional songs that "appeal to people that are going through a hard time or don't believe in themselves," he said.
"I want to communicate the liberation that is being comfortable in your own skin and that is being your own person," said Lambert, who has largely kept his personal life under wraps. "And the spirit of being different, and how strong that can make you feel."
Any dream collaborators?
"Madonna would be amazing," he gushes. "I'd love to work with Madonna — I think she's a genius.
Few things, Adam...I don't believe mixing Emo music with the cassette tape my mom got me after my dad called me a fat little girl in second grade constitutes a new genre.
Madonna and genius have only been used together in sentences like "It would be genius to come up with a way to eliminate that bitch, Madonna." "Gushing" about Madonna can only mean one thing...hint: it isn't that you're heterosexual.
Eh
My homie, Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers has been spotted canoodling with Lady Antebellum front-...lady Hillary Scott in Vegas. Pretty cute girl. Since I've only seen head shots of her, I used my Google images lifeline and WOW - naked blondes, my penis, threesomes ALLL OVER THE PAGE. Turns out there's a porn star with the same name - Hillary Scott. And yeah, I have SafeSearch turned off in my preferences, don't judge. Basically Aaron's got himself an original jelly bean - she was great until I tried the Starburst jelly bean and had an instant errection from the rush of sugary flavor. Have I gone back to an original jelly bean in the last 10 years... of course not. Can I sit and say wow Lady A singer is stunningly hot... not without thinking of the alternative. But she's still a looker.
5 hours ago
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