Don't do it.

Shoulder pads are for linebackers, not girls. Many designers at Fashion Week have unveiled looks involving these hideous features. I let out a minor laugh at the opening paragraph of Newsweek's article...

It's probably safe to say that there were more shoulder pads at Goodwill drop-off bins than at fashion boutiques in recent years. But big shoulders edged onto the runways of Marc Jacobs, Donna Karan, Alexander Wang, Diane von Furstenberg and others as Fashion Week ended its fourth day of fall previews Monday.

Ugh. Just don't do it, girls. You won't get hit on. I won't like you. They won't accentuate any feature of yours. They won't hide any feature of yours. You'll just look like a mess. I'm not looking to hook up with Ray Lewis. And God, don't let DVF convince Whitney Port that they look good. Don't taint something so heavenly.