My best friend Leslie says...

Miley Cyrus has done more in her 16 years than I will have done when I turn 35. On top of her hit show, chart topping tunes, and a movie, the bitch wrote a fckin autobiography! Will I buy it? Nope. I learned everything I needed to know in this article from MSNBC...

In the pages of her first book, "Miles to Go," Cyrus tells PEOPLE she hopes that her fans will see "that I'm a real person just like them." "Most of the time you see me smiling — I mean that's how I got my name!...

Before she became Hannah Montana, Cyrus writes, she had to endure daily hazing from bullies in sixth grade, who did everything from stealing her books to locking her in the school bathroom...

Other people she writes about in her book include her first love — whom she only refers to as Prince Charming (Hint: His real name starts with Nick and ends with Jonas)...

And there you have it...the Miley Cyrus story. I will be 0% surprised when Miley has a B. Spears-esque meltdown once she hits the old, washed up age of 20.