The Climb

+
Me. The Make A Wish Foundation camera crew was close behind when four area men descended upon Hoover, AL's Buccaneer Stadium for some field goal kicking and touchdown catching. I hit a fukcing 40 yard field goal. Barefoot. At Hoover. That's like shooting an armed redneck at Gettysburg after they've stolen Ashley Tisdale's purse.
I'm also a pretty big deal in the Nashville area and the south in general. Trace this, Trace that, everywhere. Neighborhoods, streets, trail mixes, bike stores all with Trace in the name. How player is that? One very satisfied woman told us "you can ride the Trace all the way to the Mississippi River, it's a pretty fun ride." Pretty fun ride, indeed...ma'am.

-
The award for worst state in the Union goes to Illinois for it's "breathtaking" scenery, and lack of ability to uniquely name it's cities. Mix in a foothill or two, or something to sled on, anything. 7th grade girls push their boobs together and push them up when they have flat chests, take a page out of their book. As for the cities, I think they just don't have time and resources to do anything but throw a dart at a US map when they need to name one. 98% of their resources go to Chicago, they don't have anything left to pay anyone with wild creativity ERR a 3rd grader to come up with something other than Nashville or Decatur. They do have something to hang their hat on, though...Metropolis - aka a trailer park full of comic book nerds built around a shrine to Superman.

Eh
As in I'm undecided on whether this was the funniest thing ever or I was just tired, or high on meth or something. We made a gas station stop somewhere in Tennessee at a Love's. After I filled my fountain drink, I see a nice display of dvd's with a sign above "Action Movies...For Dad." Then an Orange Chicago Bears jersey with #23 Devin Hester on the front and back...but number 6 on the left sleeve, and abosolutely nothing, blank, on the right sleeve. Then some plain white button down baseball jerseys. "I Love's this jersey!" ha get it, we were at a Love's gas station. Right? Yeah I think it's the meth.